Another List You May or May Not Listen to

First off, I just want to thank every single person who has supported this blog so far. Having people come up and tell me that they have enjoyed reading what I’ve had to say is easily the coolest feeling ever. I can only imagine how cool it is to have a well-known book that everyone loves. Hopefully one day I will be able to say I know what that is like as well!

So, I have been wondering what I was going to follow my last post up with. Turns out that what i’ve been telling my teachers for years about being able to write better at the last minute is true. As I typed that I am still trying to figure out what to say. I like to write fiction, so writing about actual life events and happenings is new for me. I consider myself a pretty straight-forward person; I’ve never been one to sugarcoat things. I figure in order to have an honest post it can’t be scripted.

I was in Books A Million yesterday just browsing, because that is what I do for fun on Sundays. (Okay, I was actually at the mall buying shoes. I do LOVE a good bookstore though.) There was a book about how to survive life after college in the Self-Help section, and I honestly thought it was a joke for a split second. I picked it up, and on the front there was a handful of young adults who very easily could be my age. The book offered a lot of advice about how to grow into adulthood and adjust to the real world. It gives good advice on job searching, staying out of debt, and forming adult relationships. It was lacking in a few areas though, so I will take it upon myself to add to it. Here are a few things I think everyone needs to remember as they make the transition from college student to (semi) grown up:

1.) God is the beginning and the end of your success. If you do not put Him where He belongs, which is at the forefront of everything you try to do, you will fail. I remember a Sunday school song about a wise man and a foolish man. The wise man built his house on a rock; the foolish man built his on sand. No weather could destroy the house of the wise man who built his house on a solid foundation. Have your success grow from a solid foundation, and in everything you do make God your rock. If you do this, you will not only be successful; you will be happy.

2.) It is okay to be guarded with the friends you let in your life. Some people suck. There really is no nice way to put that. If being around someone turns you into a person that you do not really like, realize that and stay away from them. It really is that simple. 

3.) Your parents are normally always right.

4.) Trust your gut. Too often I know what I need to do, and I do the complete opposite for one reason or another. I think that’s what your college years are for though, so once you graduate some of those ignorant decisions are no longer acceptable. I know that is a hard pill to swallow, but it is one that needs to be taken. 

5.) Limit your social media. Okay, LOL at this because I need to listen to myself on this one. Everyone has the brain cells to know that social media is ruining our relationships and how we function in the world. It is such a hard thing to stay away from, because it is a great tool. What I think everyone (myself included) needs to realize is that this needs to be a limited tool, not something you depend on.

6. GO ON A DATE. Yes, like an actual date. Take a girl on a date guys; girls, wait on a guy to take you on a date before you “hang out” with him. Grown ups get to know people through dinners, dates, etc. It does not have to be expensive, but if a guy can’t take you to dinner do you really want to date him? “But Julie it’s not his fault he does not have a lot of money. College is expensive,” you may be thinking. Believe me i’ve made those same lame excuses to myself many times. Here’s the thing though, a guy always finds a way to impress a girl he finds worth impressing. He does not need to spend a lot of money or do anything extravagant to get your attention. A little effort goes a long way. 

7.) Do not get so wrapped up in your life that you forget that the people you love have things going on too. I’m guilty of this. Sometimes I get absorbed in my own issues and I don’t realize that my friends and family need me to be there for them. 

8.) Love the hell out of people. You do not have to like them, but you are commanded to love them. Being a Christian is not about being able to quote scripture or throwing it in peoples’ faces that you go to church every Sunday (although learning scripture and going to church are two things I highly recommend for improving your life). Every single day we should strive to be CHRIST-like. Have your actions mirror that of Jesus. Know what Jesus did every single day to every single person He ever met (and even the ones He never met)? He loved them.

9.) Don’t forget to love yourself. It is so easy to get caught up in the latest health craze or fashion trend, but do not let it change how you feel about you. You can’t be a functioning adult if you are constantly concerned with what everyone else thinks of you. If you love something you see in a store that your friends might not like, wear it anyway. If you don’t look like the girl in the Victoria’s Secret Catalog, guess what, neither does she. It is not about how you look; it is about being healthy and liking yourself. If you love your body and treat it with respect, it will love you back. 

10.) Find something you are passionate about and pursue it with everything you have in you. People do not follow their dreams enough. A friend reminded me this weekend that it is never too late to chase after what you want, because it can become a reality. I do not want to reach the end of my life wondering why I never pursued what I truly wanted, just because I was too scared. Push your boundaries each day, and don’t settle for anything less than everything. 

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I Don’t.

I’m turning twenty-two on December 9th (I really want a puppy by the way), and apparently I somehow missed the memo that this is the age where you get married. It seems like I constantly have people asking when I’m going to settle down or when I’m going to get engaged. My Facebook is bombarded with posts about my friends who are getting engaged or married.

This is the part where everyone is probably smirking and making remarks about how bitter I am. I’m not bitter at all, but I am exasperated. I am genuinely happy for every single person who gets engaged and/or married to the person they believe is who God sent for them. Here’s the thing, I haven’t had that person walk into my life…yet. So when someone has the audacity to ask me when I am planning on getting married, it is so frustrating. How in the world do they expect me to answer this? Would you like a time frame? I will be sure to get back to you when I know- except I probably won’t because you’re a jerk.

I know most of the people who are asking this are coming from a good place and only want to hear about how happy I am, but stop assuming that my happiness is dependent on having someone bring it into my life. I have so many other wonderful aspects of my life that make me happy. It would be a complete lie if I were to act as if I was unhappy just because I don’t have a diamond on my left hand. There are so many more aspects to a person’s life than being with someone else, and it is a slap in the face to assume that a person does not have a fulfilling life if they aren’t in a relationship.

I’m not going to be engaged by the time I graduate college; I won’t even be in a relationship. I’m okay with that. I came to college to get a degree in Political Science and English, not my MRS. I know that this makes me a social outcast in the South to not be concerned about finding my true love right now, but your twenties are when you find out who you are. Some people may find this out earlier than others, and I am finally accepting that I am one of those people that will be traveling my road alone for a while as I figure myself out. How can you know how to make someone else happy, if you don’t know what truly makes you happy in life? God knows I am not ready for a commitment as sacred as marriage; after all, He sees how much I change my mind about what I am going to wear each day. He knows what He is doing.

God places people in your life at the right time for YOU, not the right time for other people. God’s timing has been perfect with everything else in my life, so why would I not trust Him concerning this as well?

Aside

Can You Hear Me Now?

This is my very first blog post, and to be honest I have no idea how it is going to go or if anyone will even care about reading it. I don’t have a plan for what I’m going to write; that’s never really been my style anyway. I should probably warn you though, that if you do not want to hear the opinions of a strong-minded, outspoken woman then you should probably stop reading this right now.

For those of you still reading, thanks! I can’t say this blog will be geared towards one specific subject, but rather it will let you into my world and my brain. Sometimes I have days where all I care about is politics and what is going on with our country. Other days though, I just want to look at pictures of puppies and watch videos of unrealistic proposals that will probably never happen to me or anyone I know.

Maybe this blog won’t last long, but at the very least it gives me an outlet to do what I have always wanted to do- write. I’m not trying to change the world with what I say (maybe that is the approach I should be taking), but I figure as long as something I say positively impacts one person, then I have done exactly what I set out to do. I’m currently in the process of trying to figure out my life, and it is proving to be more difficult than I first expected when I started college. As I venture into this unchartered territory of adulthood, I am learning more about myself and my faith than I ever thought possible. I’m dependent on my God, my family, and my friends for love and inspiration so don’t be too shocked if they show up in these posts more than I do.

Hopefully a few people will read this other than my parents and my roommates (shout-out to y’all though, because by the time I publish this all four of you will already have a text from me demanding you read it). Let’s see how this goes!