So I started writing my book today. Two pages down, so that leaves like roughly 298 to go? The thing about writing, especially fiction, is it’s pure torture. You want to make sure everything is perfect, but it’s not going to be. I think my OCD really surfaces when it comes to my writing. If you truly think something you write is perfect, then chances are it’s probably going to be one of the worst things ever written. A good author is never satisfied, because there are always alternate ways a story can go and you don’t want to choose the wrong one.
I obviously am not a published author (well I don’t have a published book), but I’ve been writing long enough to know a good writer is critical. The pieces I write that I hate or am the most critical of are generally the ones people seem to like the most. I find it ironic that fiction for me is more personal than writing about myself though. Through fiction I’m able to create a world that reflects my life in some way. You draw inspiration from your life and the lives of those around you. This blog focuses on my thoughts and if someone doesn’t agree with my opinion on something or does not like how I write it down, that doesn’t affect me.
What might affect me is someone’s opinion on my book. My life is my life, and there’s no changing how it goes. It is very cut and dry; there is no metaphor to real life actions. Through fiction though, you create this character and you try to portray them in the best way you can. It’s never going to be good enough for you, and at some point you have to let other people read it, and that’s terrifying. What if they hate it? You know how people are always saying, “It’s okay if I mess with him, he’s my brother. But if you do it then I’m going to get you”? Well it’s sort of the same thing. You become insanely protective of what you’re writing, and it’s okay for you to hate it- In fact that’s pretty normal. The first time someone criticizes it though, you get defensive and upset.
This is going to be a journey, and I realize that it’s hard to write about stuff when you’re young and haven’t really experienced much or been many places. If I don’t write now though, I’m afraid that I might get caught up in everything else that life throws at you and never do it. I don’t want to lose myself, because I’m more worried about making a living. Writing a book has been on my bucket list for years, and I don’t plan on it being something that never gets crossed off. So everyone, please hold me accountable and don’t let me get lazy with this. It’s something I intend to have completely done by this time next year at the latest. Wish me luck!