Love Is.


I love love. This might actually be funny to you if you know me, because then you would know i’ve been single for the majority of my adult life. It’s true though. I like showing love to people I care about, I like being in love, and I secretly like watching proposal videos online (sigh). So if you are like me (bless you if so), Valentine’s Day will not be spent with a boyfriend/girlfriend or the “normal” significant other. I hope you are like me though, in the sense that it will be spent with someone you love. This will be my fifth year celebrating Valentine’s Day with my roommate (now ex-roommate, but I will probably always refer to her as my roommate, because I’m convinced we will live in a nursing home together) and I would not have it any other way. Valentine’s Day is what you make it. I choose to make it fun.

People have a tendency to be bitter towards Valentine’s Day for one reason or another, and I used to be the same way. I woke up and realized that Valentine’s Day isn’t about loving someone romantically. It’s about loving…period. I want to share my thoughts on what love is.┬áTake it or leave it, because I’m not Dr. Phil, but I do know what love feels like.

Love is a verb. Say love as many times as you want, but that’s not what it’s about. Love is never wondering. There is no doubt, and there is no confusion. I have never sat down and thought to myself: “Hmm, do I love my parents today?” I just do. I love my parents. I do not wonder if they love me. They just do.

Dogs are better with love than humans. Dogs love unconditionally. They never leave you because you said something that hurt their feelings. Dogs love you, because it is inherently part of them. You’re their person, and they love you. They don’t think about loving someone else, because they’re unsure how you feel. You never have to convince a dog that you are worth loving. So why would you waste your time trying to convince another person?

Throughout my life, I’ve struggled like a lot of girls with “figuring out” if a guy loved me. The secret is actually not a secret at all. If I ever had to wonder at all if someone loved me, they didn’t. It really is that easy. I could have spent all of the time doing something much more productive and useful. Hindsight is 20/20.

Love (“the greatest of all things”) is not an emotion that you learn. It is part of you, and it is within you. You were created out of love. Your Father loves you. Love┬ájust exists. There are no rationalizations, and there are no questions. If you ever find yourself wondering if you love someone or if they love you, just walk away. Actually just run. Maybe i’m simplifying this too much and it is completely possible that I’m a pessimist, but why would you waste your time trying to figure it out? No one is worth losing your view on love. No one is worth making you question whether or not you can be loved.

Since i’m an old maid by the standards of many people, in my old age i’ve decided not to waste my time loving people that take work. I choose to love the people that I don’t have to wonder about. The people who love me regardless of whether I’m having a bad day, the people who love me if I yell at them when I’m mad, the people who love me whether I have the nicest car or clothes, and the people who love just sitting in a room with me without me having to constantly prove why I’m worth loving: those are the people I choose to spend my time with and love.